Thank you for being my first everything. Thank you for being my first love, the first girl I brought home, the first girl I trusted implicitly. I thank you for breaking up with me. Honestly, wether you believe me or not I was thinking about doing it myself. I just never knew how to really do it. I didn’t know how to handle it, I wanted so bad to keep you happy. But I obviously wasn’t doing that. For whatever reason you didn’t love me back. I knew it all along, yet my ego got in the way. I was searching for the love that was never there. You could say that you loved me all you want. Let’s face the real facts. You never loved me. You felt forced to love me. I understand tho. Yet there was a few things I won’t understand. And one of those things is, why you never… Ever showed me the love and affection I deserved. Everyone and their momma knows I treated you like a motherfucking queen. Yet I was constantly shit on. You truly will never understand. I went to hell and back for you. I spent hundreds of dollars on you to simply make you happy. Yet in return, I didn’t get jack fucking shit. For example, your birthday… I planed for a week what I was going to do. I had my mom bring me a picnic basket, flowers, the food, everything. I tried to make you feel special. On my birthday… I got a card, a monkey, left over cupcakes, and jack in the box. In the card there wasn’t one, not fucking one I love you. Yet a girl in my English class wrote me a long ass letter telling me how great of a friend I was and how important I was to her. And how she loved me, yet the girl who is my girlfriend didnt say once that she loved me. That’s just one of the many examples. Yenno maybe you will learn from us and you will treat the next guy better. What really sucks tho, I should’ve gotten the love HE will get. I deserved it. And there is no way in hell you can say that’s not true. To be honest, I’m glad that my words sunk in deep. You did, in the end, end up like everyone else. You aren’t in my life anymore and you’ve hurt me. You were for a while different, but you changed. Idk if it was me, or something else but you did change. The girl I fell in love with was the girl I knew in the beginning. The girl that gave a shit about me, that kept me on my toes, that had that electric smile. But after a few months you were different, I was searching for that girl I used to know but I guess I’ll never see her again. And another thing. There will never be a guy that will treat you like I did. You will never get a guy like me. I don’t care if that hurts your feelings. One day you’re gunna realize you stepped all over the guy that would’ve done anything for you. Sometimes the truth is hard to face. I faced it when I realized that me and you were over. One day you’re gunna realize how good I was to you. But it’s too late. I want to thank you for a few more things too. I thank you for bringing me and my dad back to how we were before you. When I was with you me and my bad butted heads a lot. The night you broke up with me, I was already mad because I hadn’t said a word to my father in like 4 days. The next morning. I woke up hella early and I saw my dad in the living room before he left for work. I walked over to him, and hugged him. He looked me in the eyes and said “what’s wrong son, you know I am always here” and I told him how it was over. I broke down. I realized that he was always there for me, even tho you never were. I neglected him and my family for YOU, yet I didn’t get shit in return. As I was standing there hugging my dad, wiping my tears away. I looked up and saw my mom. She too was crying. It seemed as if she knew what I was going through. She came and hugged me as well. In that moment I was hurt, really bad… Yet I knew that my family would be here for me, and that my life will go on. One thing that I am mad at tho… You also made my sister cry. She might have cried harder than me. I sat on her bed and told her that it was over and she immediately started crying. That pain… The pain when my sister cried is unlike another I have ever felt in the world. My mother is a grown woman, she knows how to handle her feelings. My sister on the other hand doesn’t. I love my sister, we have a bond like no other. But that to me was the worst pain. Having to console my sister about something she has no control over. I don’t blame you but I don’t know if another girl will ever be allowed to be that close again. So thank you for showing me that as well. I also thank you because my next girl is going to do more for me. You showed me that the hard way. But hey at least I recognize it. I thank you for helping me realize who my real friends are. Many of my friends told me that I treated you way too good. And that I deserve better. Not only guys but girls as well. I had a girl tell me that she wishes her boyfriend treated her the way I did u. One guy told me that he and his gf got in an arugement because he didn’t do the shit I did. I now realize that I should’ve listened. But I was hard headed and infatuated. So I hope you realize how good I was. I don’t know if I should follow you on twitter or ig for a while. You can follow me Idgaf, but I just need to be totally separated for a while. Im sure I’ll see you again. It is inevitable, if I see you don’t be afraid to say hi… Who am I kidding we will just walk by each other like complete strangers. Which is fine. But when you do walk by… Remember what we had. How good it was. I regret nothing. I am who I am, and I obviously am not what you wanted. Good luck this year in all your hard classes. Hope you do well in gymnastics and dance. I hope your family is well and that you’re happy. I needed to just vent. So if you read this thank you. Im sure you’re already moving on. Peace out girl scout
I just want to be with you all the time. Like every day, every minute. I hate leaving your side. You’re my best friend, my lover, my hero, my soul mate. I just always want to be with you, in your arms, hearing your voice and kissing you all over.
I wasn’t upset earlier, just jealous. Jealous that you and him would go out and do things and have fun without me. Jealous that I wouldn’t be able to be apart of it. Jealous that I wouldn’t get to be apart of your smiles and laughs and fun.